I meant to write this post a couple of days ago, but I just didn't have the time. But anyways, I'll be writing in the tense as if I actually wrote it last week. Sorry for any confusion.
So, as camp is drawing near, there have been many things that have practically, and sometimes even literally, come down to the last minute. For me, last minute is typically okay…unless I'm the one in charge. In that case, I'm the one who is a stickler for organization and promptness. To put it best, this whole planning thing has been a real stressor. Even more so, I've come to see and realize that working for a non-profit organization (that is completely running off of donations and support) puts a strain on any attempt to make big future plans. Each time someone gives us a quote on something or we find out a rate or price of anything, we must first acquire the funding. So, in essence, we have a calendar of scheduled events that we plan on doing, but most of these events' successes are hinging upon donations or support. However, I don't want to overlook that many people, and even other non-profits, do donate a superb amount of resources to make all these things possible. It's interesting though, because you have to make a phone call or an e-mail that almost starts by saying, "Please help us by donating a free entry, or a free ticket, or a free service of some kind." Sometimes the responses are yes, like a couple of organizations. But other times it's no, or maybe a reduced rate. I say it's interesting because, as an asker of a donation, you get to see people's hearts and their belief in what you're doing.
However, I know I'm beginning to just ramble about planning, which is definitely not why I'm writing. In fact, I wished to simply open your eyes about the planning process a little bit in order to make this point: nothing is certain. That's broad. Nothing in life is certain, or at least most things in life aren't certain. As I ponder, there's a few certain things. Or, not even a few, but really just one. And this one certain thing, if we look closely, can be multiplied as we anticipate its certainty in any situation. I'm talking about God. However, I do acknowledge that there are those who may choose to disagree, but I ask for everyone's attention regardless. You see, as I begin to plan for this summer, nothing really ever get's nailed down. And if something winds up being nailed down, it's always preceded by a fair amount of worry and wonderment due to the time constraints on everything. I reiterate the planning, because, well frankly, that's what I've been doing the past 2 or 3 weeks. In a sense, I've felt like the hamster spinning the wheel. The harder the I run, the faster to nowhere I go. However, in recent light, things don't seem quite that way anymore. Let me explain.
With planning, there's always an idea. An idea is followed by review and opinion, and then ultimately by action. This is action will be confirmed and noted. However, as I see God wanting me to depend upon Him more and more, this model of planning is quite possibly never the case. In reality, there's been a sort of idea (more like a theory) followed by many questions, followed by many unanswered questions, followed by a decent idea. This idea may get tossed back and forth a little bit, and it might change, and then maybe it will return to its original state. When it comes to action, there's no telling. And if action happens, then it might become confirmed, but that will definitely take some time. Pause. I'm someone who enjoys a plan. I like planning. I'm a planner. But, as I reflect more, the reason I like planning so much is primarily due to the fact that I'm the main person in control. As an intern this summer, ours plans are dependent upon soooooo many things outside of our realm of control. This is where planning does not play into my favor.
So, what have I learned? Wait. A lot like my last post. Have peace in God. Here's a good question: is there anything on earth in which God does not have complete control and authority over? Followup question: so why do I worry? At church this Wednesday night, as I was listening and responding to God, this is what He was telling me about myself, "Uncertainty is what I struggle with, but God is certain." And now, going back to what I said previously, that one certain thing in life truly is God. How do I know this? Well, I can think of about 5-10 great examples of how God seemingly came through in the last second for our summer plans this past week. But in reality, those were His plans and His timing all along. I just wasn't waiting upon and resting in Him.
A challenge: What are your worries today? this week? in general about life? Focus on God's sovereignty and realness. Rest in that peace. Wait upon Him and His timing. Proceed with confidence in Him, knowing that He is certain. Joshua 21: 43-45
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